Oh and I didn't cut! Yeah me!

I know you guys look at the side bar and click on things your friends have posted, yet you may "accidenly" click on mine and rush to click out without a second glace.

I under stand that some of the stuff I post is utter shit but it would be nice if you could atleast leave a comment!

That's all I'm asking is for a stupid fucking comment to make my life a little more britter because then I would have a reason to write.

Now it has come to the "threats".

If you don't leave a comment telling me other wise; no more Dear Diary and no more The Bottom of This Bottle.

I wasn't asked. But a little birdie told me that Taige was going to ask me but didn't because of money. But I'm pretty sure she was just lying to me to make me feel better.

Because of who I am I'm not very smart, but I'm good at English and writing and Algebra (with a calculator though). My dad saw my grades and flipped and made me stay home from all Homecoming activities and do homework. I've been able to do, like, three assignments but they are so boring and I have no idea how to do them. I still have 3 Geometry assignments, 1 History, 1 Physics, and 2 Creative Writing assignments. I'm still trying to rewrite all my English Journals into a notebook because we have to turn them in (ugh).

I'm excited for Halloween because my family and I went to this Halloween store and we got a ton of cool stuff, and my dad's whole intention for Halloween is to make children cry. Mine is to make adults scream. Maybe I'll take pictures of my house and post them so you'll guys see how crazy we get--maybe I'll even get pictures of Taige, Allison and I having fun while my Grandma, Aunt and parents hand out candy. My brother is going to be "The Zombie from the Swamp", and my dad is just going to be "Death". I'll be either Max Green or Mrs. Alexander William Gaskarth (which ever I feel like on Halloween).

On the 19th of this month I get to go and take my driver's test (again). I'm kinda scared that I have to do parallel parking because I suck at it! And I've noticed that I've gotten lazy at driving, like, I slump down in the seat, I don't look over my shoulder, and I suck at timing things right. But if, if I pass, I'll get my grandpa's old pick up. But I won't pass the emissions test and I'll have to learn stick (fun). I need a job. Still don't really want to work at a place called Dick's but everyone loves working their and its good pay...IT'S A SUPER MARKET! Honestly I don't even wanna work at Basken Robin's either because I hate their ice cream but I'll get even fatter if I do work there! Maybe that's the reason why I don't want to work at Papa Merphies too... Anyway I also may want to work at Blockbuster because I go there a lot and I'm really good at organizing things.

Now I'm starting to ramble, so this is where I stop talking and go and finish my homework.

Bye for now,

<3 Abby

P.S. Dear Diary maybe tomorrow.

I'm going to go see Toy Story and Toy Story 2 today with my frinends!

As crazy as that is, we like those movies and thought it would be cool to see them in 3D!

Ha-and we even get to see a clip of Toy Story 3!

This is all so lame its gonna be so fun!

Two movies for the price of one, with an intermission and a whole bunch of junk food!

Chapter 5

            The sun was on my face and I was still in Alex's arms. I didn't move once. Although it was conferrable, I was really stiff. I slowly slipped his arms off of me and I sat up. I stretched out my arms and stood up. I almost lost my balance but I caught myself on the table. I popped my back and wiggled my legs to get them woken up. I walked back to our bunk and I pulled out my day bag. I grabbed my pill box and took it to the bathroom. I got my water bottle out of the fridge and I dumped the handful of pills into my mouth. I downed them with my water and I put everything back.

            I looked to see when we where going to stay at a hotel and luckily enough tomorrow. Even though I was only on tour for about two days, I wanted a shower. But everyone else deserves one more than I do. I was raised to be very sanitary, so not showering two days is a big step for me. Luckily we have boxes upon boxes of baby wipes. Someone was moving around the back lunge and I watched as Kaity walked out all dressed and ready for the day.

            "Good morning Abby." She said in a sing song voice.

            "Morning." I replied with a smile.

            "So how was dinner?" she asked leaning up against the bathroom door.

My smile got even bigger. "It was amazing! We talked, ate, danced and kissed."

            "Aw, how sweet."

            "What about you guys? How was the party?"

            "Like all the others with the exception of John trying to get info about you."

            "Did you say anything?"

            "Why do you like him or something?"
            
            "No, he comes off as a creeper to me. I'm just curious."

            "Well we just told him that you're only interested in Alex and to just stay away."

            "Why didn't you fucking kill the dick?" Alex asked bitterly.

Kaity and I turned our heads and saw Alex giving us a morning death glare.

            "How long have you been up?" I asked.

            "From the moment Kaity first said his name."

            "You hate him that much?" I asked.

He smirked, "More than you will ever know. I'm going to the coolers, do I need to extras?" he asked standing up and walking to the door.

            "One for everyone."

            "Geez." He said closing the door.

           I looked back to the bunk area and noticed all the curtains where closed. I shook my head and I sat back down on the couch and waited for Alex to come back. The door opened a few minutes late and Alex walked up with an armful of water bottles. I grabbed the Excedrin from the counter and I walked back with Alex. He slipped two bottles under Jack's curtain and I placed a few pills in Jack's hand. We moved onto Zack and then Rian's bunk. Alex gave an extra bottle to Kaity and he took the last one.

           "Is this regular?" I asked looking at Kaity then Alex.

           "Only when we have a party." Alex laughed.

           We heard a grown or two from the back and we muffled our laughs.

            Everyone slowly emerged from the bunks and quietly got dressed and ready for the day. Sun glasses covered eyes and earplugs were shoved in ears. We walked off the bus and took a short cart ride to breakfast. We got our food and walked to a large shaded area. Jack, Ana, and Sam were lying on the grass with their empty plate over their eyes. All the rest of us ate silently. I didn't dare look up at anyone because I might just start laughing and I wouldn't be able to stop.

            Breakfast ended quickly. We walked to the equipment trailer and got the stuff the boys needed. I looked up at the board and saw that The Maine and All Time Low were on right after one another. On separate stages though. But the stages were right next to each other. I waited back stage with Sam, Ana and Kaity while All Time Low was busy warming up. John walked up to us and hugged Sam. "Hey lil sis." He said smiling, "What's up Abby?"

            "The sky dumb ass."

            "Ha-ha-ha very funny."

I scrunched my nose and walked toward Alex. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he leaned down and kissed my caller bone. It was time for All Time Low to perform. I kissed Alex on the lips and smacked his butt as he walked up the steps to the stage. Us girls stood by Flyzik by the sound booth and watched all the funny faces Zack, Rian and Jack were making. But by the end of the show Jack seemed to be all sobered up.

            We sat under a tent and watched the back of The Maine. Alex sat behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I looked down at him and smiled. He returned the smile with his cute "innocent" childish smile. The one smile that every girl fell for. He wrapped his arms around my chest and looked at the stage, right at that moment John was looking back at us. Alex laughed and John rolled his eyes before turning back to the fans.

            "Don't tell me you two are fighting?"

            "Well others usually yell or fist fight. We have a contest, I guess."

            "Oh well you win by a long shot. Déjà vu."

            "Huh?" he asked tilting his head.

            "I said the same thing yesterday to John." I laughed.

He smiled again and kissed my neck.

            The day went on just as good as yesterdays and the day before. We hung out on the bus or the merch booth. Walked to the sighing and went back to the bus. When the sun was no longer in the sky and the convoy of buses and trucks where heading down the freeway to the next town you knew it was time for sleep. But that's the thing. I couldn't sleep because I was too eager to take another shower. I played solitaire on my laptop one game after another until Alex pulled it away.

            "Hey I wasn't finished!"

            "I just wanna see what you've got on here."

I rolled my eyes and watched him play around on my laptop. He took the CD out of it and laughed. "Sims? Are you kidding me?"

            "No, and when your in a hospital for a week that game gets really fun."

            "Oh really?"

            "Yeah, I'll show you." I said taking the disk and placing it back into the computer. I clicked on the icon and Sims3 flashed a cross the screen. We ended up creating a family for us and playing around on it for the last couple of hours until the bus pulled up to the hotel.

            "Oh my god I cannot wait for a shower!" Ana cheered.

            "Hellz Yeah!" I added.

            "You better get use to it." Jack said looking over to me.

            "Feeling dirty?"

            "Yup."

            "Shit." I said hanging my head and they laughed at me.

            We had gotten all of our stuff we need and we ran to the lobby and got our room keys, we jumped in the elevator as it climbed up the shaft. When the doors opened we slipped into the hallway and we ran to our rooms. Neither one of us could seem to get the door open fast enough. I looked up to the room number and laughed as it swung open.

            "What's so funny?" Alex asked pushing me in the door with our stuff.

            "My two lucky numbers are 6 and 13."

            "Really? Wow, I though people would tend to stay away from 13, even a girl like you."

            "13 has got me to were I am today."

He smiled and turned to the bathroom, "Is it okay if I go first?"

            "Go right ahead."

He opened the door and started to strip down.  "Hey can you get my bathroom stuff?"

            "Sure." I said pulling out the bag and tossing it onto the counter in the bathroom. The door closed and the shower was turned on. I smiled and pulled out my stuff for a shower.

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You can kill me if you want. I know its been forever, I've been busy and typing this up takes so long!
Comments? Questions? Conserns? Threats?

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Dear Diary,

            After a long talk with will we decided to go up to the lake. I also admitted that I hate camping, but my dad has a cabin where we are going so all will be well. I smiled the entire time I was driving home. Next week we are going up to the lake, the week after school shopping and then school. I'm nervous. I know we all are on the first day of school. But why are we? Is it because of the teachers? Different classes that we know nothing about? Or is it because each year is new? Most of the time it's just a repeat. Relearning whatever it is we learned last year. Maybe that's why I'm always bored in school. I know everything that I need to know already. But we always seem to learn something else. A walking book of knowledge.

                                   -Abby

"So how are you and Will doing?" Kaity asked into the phone.

I pressed the receiver closer to my ear and lips and sighed, "We're going to my dad's cabin next week for a couple days."

"Oh steamy! Just the two of you?"

I nodded, "Yes. And how are you and Gabe doing." I said trying to change the subject.

"Oh fine thanks, we're using your room as our hide out from Dana."

"She's the devil isn't she?"

"Is she really your sister?"

"I feel the same, but my theory is that the nurse gave my parents the wrong baby at the hospital."

She laughed, "It could be worse, there could be two of her!"

"Don't let me remember that nightmare." I said pinching the bridge of my nose. "Do you wish you could rewind the summer and do it all over again? Maybe even delete things that you wished never happened?"
"Well, I'd like to watch all the good stuff but not change a moment of it."

"Why is that?"
"Because then I wouldn't remember how to do "it" the right way. Life would just be a little more difficult. Do you have anything you want to "delete"?"

"Nothing at all. This summer has been one of the best."

"Hey I gotta go. Talk to you later?" she asked.

"Sure. Bye." I said hanging up.

            I started to play with my hair. I got bored this morning and I started to curl it with my curling irons. I ended up doing all of my hair, big curls underneath and little curls at the top. I couldn't understand why I was so depressed. So I went upstairs to my bathroom and grabbed my razor. I stood over the sink and looked down. "Only one, Abby." I told myself. I ripped the razor a crossed my wrist violently, deeper than I had ever cut before. Tears stung at my eyes and I did it again. And again, and again. All the way up my arm to my elbow.

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Comments? Questions?
Trust me when I say these chapters will get a lot better.
And please, please, please, comment; even if it is that bad!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Dear Diary,

            Everyone saw me off at the airport and Will picked me up and drove me home. I put everything away while he watched as I set photos on my dresser/vanity. (Dan and Sally took the time to take out the twin beds and put them in the other guest room and put the Queen into mine). He said that Dana was "Lindsey Lohan" in the making. I just cracked up laughing. Am I dreaming or is this really my life?
                                                                                                                                                                         -Abby

            It feels weird not having Gabe and Kaity around. But I got use to it all within the day. I didn't want to have boring walls and plan sheets so I was given a budget and Will helped me choose paint for my walls and we walked around Kohl's looking for bed sheets to match. We were by the pillows and well I wanted to "try them out". So I threw one at him. And we ended up having an all out pillow fight in the store! We weren't kicked out but the manager gave us a warning. And as he walked away he mumbled, "Newly weds." We laughed and bought the things.

            We went to his house and played video games for a while. He's mother invited me for dinner and I couldn't decline. His mother is a brilliant cook! Will's younger brother tried to keep my attention but failed miserably. He liked me was well. I'm starting to get annoyed at how many guys like me. And his dad was curious about what we are planning on doing the rest of the summer.

"Well Bill, I hope to get really good at my job." I said spooning the mashed potatoes into my mouth.

"Oh, that's it? You two aren't going to go up to the lake our anything?" he questioned looking at Will then me.

"Dad!" Will hissed looking down at his plate.

I blushed and rubbed my leg against Will's, which meant 'we need to talk later'.

            We sat in his room-door open- he looked at his feet and I looked at mine. I leaned against him and sighed, "Well?" I asked.

"My dad has this crazy idea that I'm going to take you up to the lake, just the two of us and you know get intimate."

"We already have though."

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Commnets? Questions? Consersn? Threats?

I cross my eyes
and hold my sides.

To keep from falling apart.
Will you come and save me from his heart?

Although I love him,
and he loves me,
the bruses will disagree.

The blues and purples cover my skin,

I cant look up into your face.

Skin so soft, eyes so bright,
and your hair feels like lace.

I know you'll save me with all your might.

But when will you see,
that he will still get me.

My body shakes, and I fall to the ground.

You life me up and hold me tight,
I'm afraid to make a sound.

I bite my lip,
making it bleed.

My eyes go red and the tears run down my cheek.

We sit at the peek,
of this horror,
you protect me more than before.

He comes again.

Eyes blazing like fire,
one punch to ribs and I fall.

You run to my side and turn to him.

You no longer care if he is your friend, your brother.

The gun hidden by your clothes,
is exsposed and in your hand.

You pray to your mother.

In heaven she looks down at you and cries.

Your brother, your friend, all he told were lies.

The ice cold trigger is pulled,
the bullet hits.

Its to late,
my breath runs short,
and I fall back to the cold, wet ground.

No sound.

Now you are standing above my grave,
you and your brother.

Just the rain,
you can't handle the pain.

Thats same damn gun,
in your hand.

It shines in your eyes.

Don't do it.

Please, for me?

You hold it to your head,
nothing was said.

The click and the bang,
God's hand lies in yours.

Your head hangs while you sob.
the blood pures,
out of your body and onto the floor.

No smiles, no laughter.

Now your body is broken and sore.

This isn't what we wanted,
not your mother,
not your brother,
not me.

We hug in heaven,
the second chance to live our lives.

To fix what happened,
We don't diserve it.

Lets go back in time,
before this mess.

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This was just a poem(?) that I thought up last night but the more I got into it, the wheels in my head started turning and its going to become a story. So that means that Do You See is going to be discondtinued. But the problem with this is I have no idea what band I should use. Any suggestions? I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend, I'm going camping up at Willow Flats Idaho with my family. My whole family; aunts, uncles, cousins, and my oma (grandma). And thats where I'll be writing this. I hope you liked it.

Please comment! That way I'll know if I should actually write about it.

Dear Diary will be posted Monday night, and TBOTB is going to be posted Tuesday or Wednusday.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Dear Diary,

            It's my last night in New York and I still haven't spoken to Mary since the argument. I've just been in my room all day until dinner. I'm still pissed at her but I think I should make up before I leave. Half of this little fiasco is her fault too! Why don't grown ups just accept that fact that teens are right as well?

                                                                                    -Abby

            I was IMing Travis, Brenden and Ryan all at the same time. They missed me and whished that I could be there right now. I laughed when they all got into a fight over what they are going to do with me when I get back to Chicago. Travis wants to take me and get a tattoo (for him not me). Brenden wants to go to a Chucky Cheese and Ryan wants to take me to a café and hear poetry. I had to tell them some other time and that I was with Will and they would also have to ask him.

            I heard a knock on the door and I slid off the bed, walked down the stairs and unlocked the door. I opened it and saw Mary.

"Oh its you." I said backing up a little to let the door swing open all the way.

"Abby, I'm sorry for what I said. I just want to end things on good terms before you leave."

I smiled, "I'm sorry too!" I said hugging her.

"Lets all go to dinner." She said letting go.

"Okay, just let my go get my stuff."

"Fine, we'll be waiting in the car."

            I ran back up and told the guys that I had to go. I slipped on my shoes grabbed my jacket and phone. I walked down the stairs quickly and locked the door behind me. I made my way a crossed the hall, down the stairs and out the front door. I got into the car and was stuck sitting next to Dana. The entire time Jim was driving us to Apple Bee's she was whining about me. Jim just talked a little louder to Mary, Gabe had his iPod-the lucky son of a bitch-and all I had was my hood up and I was deep into texting Will. I told him what she was doing and he called me and told me to put him on speaker.

"Dana?" he asked making the car go quiet and Gabe pulled out his iPod.

"Yes?" she asked childish, the girl is fucking 12 you'd think she'd be out of that stage.

"Can you do me a big favor and shut up?"

"Who are you to talk to me like that?"

"William, Abby's boyfriend."

"Well I don't think..."

"Oh, but you do think. And you know that no one is listening to you so just save yourself the regret and shut up."

Her mouth hung open and she folded her arms. "Thanks Will." I said hanging up.

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I know it's bad. THEIR ARE TEN CHAPTERS LEFT!

School: I love A-days (but I have to run from one end to the other so I won't be late). B-days are BOORRING!

I'm looking for a job. *sighs*. I have a question for you: Would you want to work at a place called Dick's?

Comments? Questions? Conserns? Threats?